All is Well

Amongst the other April Fool's pranks that went on in the Sybrowsky Family and MTC (which included but were not limited to: fake sushi, a gorilla running around the cafeteria, and fire alarms going off at 7 am), my Dad sent out a text informing his side of the family that I had been, "Sent home from the MTC for being bad." The transparent text was easily put off an an ineffective prank so imagine my family's surprise when I walked through the door at a family party the next day. APRIL FOOLS! I am home - yes this is real, and part of the reason for my delay in posting is so that you wont need a run in with me at Day's Market to prove the validity of this post.

Though my behavior didn't solicit me being voted off the island, Tuesday the 31st's diagnosis of seizures seemed to do the trick. Since entering the MTC I had been having dizzy and fainting spells followed a myriad of other bazaar symptoms. I had experienced these on and off for several years and after some minor inquisition with no results and figuring it just another strange manifestation of my virus prone body, I shrugged it off and passed my MTC medical example with flying colors. I have already been able to see the timing of the symptom's manifestation as a blessing, but within days of entering the MTC it was apparent that I had ignored something significant. 

After fighting off the good people at the MTC for weeks, thousands of protestations that I was "just fine", and over a dozen tests and doctors visits, the first tentative diagnosis of partial complex seizures of the left temporal lobe came back. I still don't really know what that means or what it's ramifications are but I know the Lord was clear and direct when he told me the best and fastest way to be 100% of a missionary was to go home. I took a while to hear that message but through many wonderful examples I found the faith to make my mission on the Lord's time and not on my own. 

I loved the MTC more than I have ever loved any experience in my life and I am so excited and hopeful for the opportunity to get better and make it back there to learn once again. I loved my teachers, companions, district, investigators, I loved feeling the spirit all the time, and working hard every moment, and being happy every minute because my purpose and work were so clear and important. But as I have struggled to find my place since being home I have realized those same things I loved about the MTC can be real and tangible things at home if I will have the discipline and faith to keep putting the Lord as my numero uno. 

When people started trying to talk me into going home I was terrified to the point of being hysterical. The thought of changing plans, of waiting indefinitely, of admitting I was sick - I don't know what it was but as a member of the MTC presidency put it, I had the Egyptian disease : DeNile. 

But I now know this more clearly that anything else in my life, THE LORD WILL PROVIDE - my terror melted into calm and peaceful assurance that I was doing what needed to be done, that this was a blessing in an infinite number of ways, and this was happening for a tangible, exact, and eternal purpose. 

I am not worried that I will make it to California, hopefully sooner and not later, but most of all hopefully on the Lord's time. I am not even worried a shred about these seizures, or about coming home. You know you are blessed when your biggest struggle is needed to adapt emotionally to living with your loving and wonderful family. So now the plan: medicine, more tests, maybe school, lots of scriptures and prayers, family, love, trying to entendo espanol, learn to play piano, eat cookies, pray, watch my baby brother grow into the craziest toddler in the world, and marvel in the grace of God. Oh, está todo bien!